Have You Any Stalking Tendencies? Can’t Let Go? Take This Test To See….
Are You a Stalker?
We get interested in men, we get frustrated, at times, by men, we get hurt by men, we fall in love with men, and we break up and make up with men. In the complicated world of relationships we ride the rollercoaster of masculine and feminine energy and we, at times, fall prey to our weaker instincts and do things that we normally would not do as rational, adult women.
Answer these questions honestly, yes or no.
Results will be given at the bottom of this little quiz to see if you have ever been a “stalker”, or are having a hard time letting go of a person.
1. You have blocked your number and dialed a man’s phone number and immediately hung up, just to hear his voice and get a “rush”. (You may have then spent hours or days analyzing his tone of voice and/or the background noises present during that split second call).
2. You have logged onto match or myspace under a pseudo name just to check his profile and any activity on his account.
3. You have gone out of your way to do “drive-by’s” past his work, his home, and his haunts just to see if there have been any changes in his movements or habits.
4. You know his movements and habits so well that if he is not at any of the places listed in Item 3, above, you panic when he is not within his normal routine.
5. You have accessed his cell phone account and looked up every number he has called through the web and those that you could not identify, you rang, as in Item 1 above.
6. You have actually spent time trying to crack his password on his email, voicemail, myspace or match account.
7. You show up at his “usual” haunts trying to behave as if you would be there “anyway”, but you know, in reality, you are only there in the hopes of bumping into him and creating an interaction that would not otherwise occur.
8. You have run a “background” check on him through the web to try to pin down any information about him that you may not have already gathered, and you paid good money for it.
9. You pump any mutual friends or acquaintances that you have for information, in what you believe is a seemingly “casual” way, and subsequently follow up on any “leads” you may get as to his current activity.
10. You have conducted your own “stake-out” of his home, work place, or favorite haunts.
Here are your scores
If you answered yes to question 1, you are not alone. This is a common practice among American Women of all ages, and can easily be explained away as a Freudian Slip, or an accidental dial. Repeatedly indulging in question one behavior, however, can indicate a problem.
If you answered yes to question 2, you’re still in the realm of the average curiosity level of the American Female, although the information you gain by doing so may only serve to hurt your feelings.
If you answered yes to number 3, you are starting to get a little bit higher onto the Stalker Scale of possessiveness, and plotting his movements in this manner is wasting your time and feeding your obsession. You really should go out of your way to not drive by these locations.
A combination of items one, two and three is beginning to put you into stalker mode, and you really should try to stop.
If you answered yes to number 4, you are climbing the Stalker Scale and hurting yourself more than anyone. Stop here. The only thing that will happen with this knowledge is that you will hurt yourself.
If you answered yes to number 5, you are well on your way to topping out on the Stalker Scale. You are invading his privacy and could well face criminal charges if you get caught. Stop immediately. Let go.
If you answered yes to number 6, you are on a path to self-destruction, and if caught, again, you could face criminal charges and public humiliation. Please stop.
If you answered yes to number 7, you are in “chase” mode with this man, and the only thing that your presence and persistence will do is make the man react by pulling farther away. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Putting yourself squarely in his path at every opportunity is NOT going to make him realize that he misses you and that he wants more with you. Your elusiveness will do more to fan his flames of desire more than anything else.
Answering yes to number 8 is pure stalking, you are not going to find any sense of relief or gratification in the information that you find. Let go.
If you answered yes to number 9, you are being blatantly obvious, and again, you are in chase mode.
Answering yes to number 10 indicates that you are at risk of having a restraining order placed against you, if the male in question is so inclined, and you are running the risk of discovery.
Count up your answers to the positive. On a scale of one to ten, the higher your score, the more obsessive your behavior. Love can lead to madness, but there is no need to torture yourself and risk criminal charges over a male whose behavior drives you to such lengths.
If you score a zero, you a very healthy and secure woman, and probably had no interest in even reading this blog.
If you score one to three, you are exhibiting insecurity on a level that is about average when a relationship is not progressing as you would like.
If you score three to six, you are beginning to exhibit signs of obsession and should really examine this relationship and how it is hurting you, not adding to your life, but reducing the quality of your life.
If you score above six, you are in danger of losing yourself and your self-esteem by placing your focus on an outside source for gratification and you need to begin to look inside. You are also in danger of having criminal charges placed against you should the person you are doing this to feel that you have violated their privacy in this manner.
Rather than spending time and energy in these ill-fated pursuits, try moving forward and living the life that you have always imagined yourself living. Pick up a new hobby, pick up a new man, redefine yourself, change your style, focus on yourself and not this person on the outside who is being so inattentive as to cause you to behave a bit irrationally.
Need Help Letting Go? Contact Brigid Bishop
