Top Ten Ways to Stay Single for Life

Top Ten Ways to Stay Single For Life

I was once told that successful blogging is inclusive of providing your audience with lists, so, not one to avoid testing a theory, I decided to post this list for my blog audience and clients to peruse.

It may be a bit “Tongue in Cheek”, but I can tell you, it will work for you!

1) Find yourself an unavailable man, i.e., married, emotionally unavailable, noncommittal, workaholic, alcoholic or otherwise occupied.

Decide he is the only one for you, put your entire life on hold waiting for him to give up his marriage, his girlfriend, his second job, his booze, his drugs, or whatever his particular obsession or situation may be.

DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, DATE ANYONE ELSE WHO MAY ACTUALLY BE AVAILABLE DURING THIS TIME, FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS!

2) When you are online dating, stop looking as soon as you meet one guy in person and focus all of your energy and attention on him, put your life on hold waiting for his next call, your next date, his next text message or email and then, when he moves on, repeat the process repeatedly.

3) ALWAYS be available for his calls, texts and emails, never close your IM window so you know when he logs in and out and stalk him on the net watching his every move, neglect your own social life and worry about his.

Respond immediately each and every time he makes contact.

4) When he doesn’t call you in a timely manner make every excuse in the book as to why he is not communicating with you for him, his job, his kids, his hobby, they are all taking up his time and he will call you eventually, sit by the phone and wait.

5) Panic if one day goes by and he doesn’t call you.

Do not let twenty-four hours go by without communication, immediately pick up your phone and call or text him, email him, forward him those annoying group emails to see if he opens it, repeat in increasing frequencies when he does not answer his phone and you get voicemail.

6) Convince yourself that you are in a relationship that does not exist.

He smiles at you when you pass in the hall at work, begin obsessing that he is going to ask you out and focus all of your energy into making your work day revolve around crossing his path. Transfer departments to get the office next to his!

This also applies to the ex that you keep chasing after that occassionally sleeps with you, but never takes you out. Hold on to that ex even when he doesn’t call, write or care!

Or better yet, totally stalk a guy you were never even involved with, send him presents and cards and messages. That good old restraining order will help to ensure you stay single!

7) Convince yourself that a casual dating situation is a real relationship.

He doesn’t call you more than once every ten days or so, you only see him once or twice a month, but heck, he’s busy with his kids, job, business, hobby, etc., Repeat List Item #4.

DO NOT DATE ANYONE ELSE DURING THIS TIME!

Project into the future about how things will be when he asks you to marry him.

Chase him!

Go where you know he will be. Show up with friends as if you were going there anyway and spend all of your time trying to get his attention and get him into your social group, ignore your friends, they were just “the beard” anyway.

Join all of his forum discussion groups, chat groups, and internet sites and be sure to let him know you are there!

If you met him on the internet and you live far apart, move to his city! Buy the house next door!

9) Be overly critical.

You are at a party where you don’t know too many people, just mildly aquainted, they seem to be his friends, he is off socializing and had you on his arm, but you wanted his undivided attention so you went off to sit on the sofa alone and he did not follow you immediately.

In front of all of his friends, tell him how rude he is to ignore you and have the nerve to socialize with other people and assume that he was including you.

Perhaps you may want to buy him a leash?

10) Be a total narcissist.

Analyze how each and every action he takes affects you.

He’s going to visit his mother on your cat’s birthday?

How dare he, doesn’t he know how important that cat is to you?

His mother is dying and he has to spend time sharing shifts with his siblings caring for her?

How dare he! Doesn’t he know that you need to go out to dinner and a movie tonight! His mother is just being spiteful by holding onto life and not dying, he should realize that she is just trying to keep him away from you and she should just die already!

He spends time with his friends.

How dare he! Doesn’t he know that YOU are the only friend he needs?

Make sure you tell him all of these things every time he takes a breath that does not include you or calculate how it will affect you.

So, my dear friends, here is a handy guide to the Top Ten Ways to Stay Single for Life.

There are many more ways, but these are just the best ways. Even applying just one of these will give you some pretty heavy insurance that you will never have to truly deal with that messy thing called a “Relationship”.

*Any similiarity to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.*

Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author. You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part.

Reading Death, A Cause for Refusing General Readings

Reading Death

A Cause for Refusing General Readings

This is one of the few topics that I will not professionally read on as I believe that in the case of answering this particular question the slightest error or misinterpretation can cause irreversible harm. I do NOT claim to be 100% accurate; I do not believe that there is a Reader in existence who is.

My practice is based more on Life Coaching and Relationship Coaching than pure psychic interpretation of Tarot, those who understand this generally benefit greatly from my sessions, those who do not may either walk away dissatisfied or satisfied, dependent upon how accurately I have read for them. The clients who go to the “next level” with me, The Coaching Process, are those who find my services the most useful.

So, suppose I get a question from a querent that goes like this “Is my father going to die soon?” My response is “I am sorry but I will not read death”. I refuse to do so as suppose I answer “no” and he passes away within the near future, this person may not have taken the time to get the closure or resolve any unresolved issues with their father because they had faith that they had time. (Some people, unfortunately, do take their readings too seriously, I constantly advise against it, but yet, some people continue to do so.) Anyway, suppose I answer “yes” and the querent goes into a panic, but I am wrong, and the father lives on and on, yes he will pass someday, but I am not God, and I cannot name the date, nor will I attempt to. This querent may well live in a state of psychological panic for a long time. Unnecessarily.

It gives me bad vibes just to hear a question like that and the energy clings to me for days, sometimes even forcing me to take time away from reading professionally, like having a metaphysical flu, if you will.

I have actually had a client ask me this question, and when informed that I would not read it, she said, “Ok, well, can you tell me if I will be making funeral arrangements soon?” Ugh. Same question, different wording, you cannot bypass my decision to refuse to read on death by rephrasing your question and I explained this to her as gently as I could. She has never called me again, we were not a good client/advisor match.

Sometimes I do see death in the cards even though I do not want to.

The first time I saw death in the cards I did not understand how to interpret it until after the fact, it was twenty years ago. My children were in daycare and one of the workers was teaching my son Justin, a gifted artist, how to draw human faces and forms, he was only three, but his drawings already had the appearance of a much more mature hand and Elaine was a very talented artist in her own right. Elaine had an eighteen year old daughter at the time and Elaine loved when I read tarot for her, she bartered with me, art lessons for Justin for readings from me.

One day Elaine asked me to read her daughter, Katherine.

I agreed, but for some reason I felt uncomfortable. At first I thought that it was because Katherine was so young, (I won’t read anyone under eighteen), but she was eighteen and it was her mom asking me to read her, so I just pushed the feeling aside.

So there we were, at the preschool after hours, Justin in the back getting his lesson, Zachary watching cartoons contentedly, and Katherine and I at the front table doing the reading.

I asked Katherine if she had a specific question, she said no, so I did a general reading on her.

The cards that came up, the impression I got, the chill that went up my spine just made me feel like I was viewing something I shouldn’t be looking at. It honestly looked like Katherine had no future at all.

Rather than give her an upsetting reading I reverted to the text book novice way of reading the cards and went through them individually by position and by text book meaning, not combining them together, that would have spelled disaster. I was puzzled by the reading and when Katherine got up from the table, I wrote it down to review later. She was unimpressed with the process, and rightly so, but pleasant just the same. The reading was not cohesive.

Katherine used to babysit my kids when I went out on a Friday or Saturday night, I was a newly divorced single mom, and I truly cared for her and my kids just loved her. She was a little bit of a “wild child”, she already had a tattoo on her ankle, (pretty wild in the late 80’s for one so young), and I truly was concerned about what I saw.

So we headed home, went our separate ways, I still felt ill at ease about the reading.

At four a.m. that Saturday morning, (this all happened on a Friday), we heard multiple sirens and emergency vehicles kept running up and down our road for what seemed like hours.

On the news that morning was the story of a fiery car wreck that took the lives of six young people from our town, there were no survivors. They had been at a graduation party evidently and were out late night jammed into a 1985 Mustang that was known around town to speed around irresponsibly.

Elaine called me.

She had to go to the mortuary and she needed a ride.

It was 9 a.m.

I got a friend to watch my kids and I took her.

Elaine identified Katherine by her tattoo.

Katherine was Elaine’s only child.

I had no doubt what the spread was telling me.

Could I have prevented Katherine’s death? No. I didn’t see a car wreck or the horrible ending to a bright light, I just couldn’t pull a future out of the cards.

This is why I do not do general readings. I may see something I do not want to see, and in case I misinterpret the cards, why should I cause a querent unnecessary anxiety.

What do I do now if I see something that looks like death in a reading?

I keep it to myself and stick to the question that is asked.

I do not do general readings because you just don’t know what the universe will tell you when you go down that path and I am not 100% accurate, no one is.

God Bless Katherine and keep her safe.

This is written in honor of her memory.

Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author. You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part.