A Soul Mate Story

A Soul Mate Story

by Brigid Bishop

At the beginning of 8th grade I met a boy named Bobby.  We decided we were going to be a “couple” and embarked happily on a puppy love excursion.

We rode bikes together, played basketball and tag football, wrestled and played literally like two puppies!

We were very happy throughout the 8th grade, where we both turned from 13 to the ripe old age of 14.

Bobby’s parents were divorced.  We lived in PA and his Dad lived in Maine, quite a distance away.

Every summer Bobby went to Maine to spend time with his Dad, we prepared for this imminent separation as best we could at our ages, and then a SHOCKER hit us.

Bobby’s Mom told him that he (and not his older sister or younger brother) was going to remain permanently in Maine and not return for the beginning of the next school term when we started high school!!!  It was my first broken heart and God, I can still feel the pain.

Back then, circa 1976, kids were not allowed access to their parents’ long distance services, so there would be no phone calls, the only way for us to maintain any kind of communication was by snail mail…..so………

All through the summer, and ninth grade, and the following summer, and tenth grade, we communicated via snail mail, professing our love for each other, etc. etc. etc.

Now, here is the bad part….during this time I was a blossoming teenage girl, 14, 15 and nearly 16…….and of course I told Bobby “I was waiting for him”.  What I didn’t tell him was that while I was “waiting” I was dating many other boys and kind of began going steady at the age of fifteen with a nineteen year old.  Bobby didn’t know about the 19 year old and the 19 year old didn’ know about Bobby.

I was a pretty good looking teenager and several boys my own age took offense at my choice.  One, in particular, named Fran, who was supposed to by my friend, was ticked off because I chose the older boy instead of him.

Bobby came home during the summer of 1978 for a “surprise” visit.  Fran knew.  I didn’t.  Fran walked Bobby straight out to the beer barrell party I was at with the older boy (I was 16 by now) and said……”See, I told you she was cheating on you”.  

Caught like a rat in a trap, Bobby was crushed.  He ran down the coal road in tears, and I chased him, but I couldn’t catch him.  He wouldn’t take my calls, nothing.  I would have dumped that older guy on the spot if I had known Bobby would ever come back.

Anyway, Bobby’s Mom brought him back for eleventh grade, to my school.  He was hurt and withdrawn and there was no way for me to get him to let me in again just yet.  I tried, but he was too hurt.

In twelfth grade we briefly tried again, but I just wasn’t ready to date a younger guy again for fear his mother would yank him away again.  (I never dated a guy my own age again after Bobby got sent away, always over 18 so the parents couldn’t interfere).

We graduated in 1980 and went our separate ways.  I thought of him often over the years, of how things could have been if Mom hadn’t sent him off to Bangor.  I married, divorced, had relationships, some steady, some flings, then I met Frank in 1997………a VERY complicated soul mate story, but anyway, one night in June of 2000………

Yes, June of 2000, a Sunday night, I had a bad cold and was taking that daytime cold medicine that makes you feel like you are on speed, and I was aggressively cleaning my kitchen in my usual summer garb, a white T shirt and my Levi’s jeans and a pair of white keds with a bandana around my head, and there is a knock on my door………

I answer it and there is a tall man with blonde hair and a beard standing there…….

I immediately feel like I know him………it takes a moment, and he says “Bridget”………..I screamed out “Bobby!!!!” and threw myself into his arms!!!

I was in shock, it was about 10:30 at night, I looked a mess, and here was my very first soul mate on my front porch after 24 years of being apart.

I was involved with Frank at the time, and I was very confused as to what this was going to do, I felt like it was a repeat of the summer of 1978!!!

We spent the next full week together, catching up, opening up, sharing what could-have-been’s and what might-have-beens……..revisiting our old playgrounds where Bobby said we should have raised our kids………..I never told Frank about any of this, at the time it was easy to steal the time.

Anyway, what was happening was Bobby was getting divorced.  He told me that he had never stopped loving me, (same here), and that he had to come to Pennsylvania (He lived in Maine for all of his adult life) to see if I was “available”.  The kicker here is we both married partners 12 years our senior, he had 2 girls, I had 2 boys.  My oldest son and his younger daughter were born on 5/29, 2 years apart, and his oldest daughter and my younger son were both born on 7/28, 2 years apart!!!!  

We married ON THE SAME DAY OF THE SAME YEAR!!!!

Too many coincidences to place.

I told him about Frank…….he understood……we let go of each other that year as “this time around” we just weren’t meant to be together.

We had a few phone calls, letters and cards for about 2 years after that, but the contact dropped again in 2002 as we got on with the business of living our “parallel lives”, but we had our closure…….it just wasn’t meant to be this time.

I firmly believe he is my soul mate, we just have to wait for another lifetime to manifest it to the fullest.

Important Note I forgot to mention:  When Bobby came to see me in 2000 he shared with me that his mother had died and that on her DEATH bed he asked her why did she send him away like that???  She told him that she thought we were getting TOO CLOSE, and did it for our own good, as she saw how much in love we were and thought we were too young!  Bobby told me he had a hard time forgiving her as both of our lives may have been entirely DIFFERENT had she not made this decision.

My Soul Mate Song

My Soul Mate Song

I may be “dating” myself here, but I have to share one of my “soul mate songs” with you.

We all have them.  Those songs that touch us somewhere much deeper than our hearts.

This is one of mine.

It is a song that has always reminded me of my soul mate, whom I am now married to.  It’s not a happy song, but nonetheless it makes me feel that soul connection.

It’s by one of my favorite bands, Nazareth.  (Yeah, I know, I’m old, lol).

Here are the lyrics, but you really need to listen to it if you can.

 

NazarethDo I feel alright?
I’ll go anywhere you say you wanna to take me
Save me, run away-ay-ay, steal away-ay-ay
‘Cause I feel alright
I’ll do anything you say you wanna make me
Take me, far away-ay-ay, run away-ay-ayWe’ve been up all night
Tryin’ to avoid a situation
Hold me, let me feel your way
‘Cause I wanna stay
Let them all start talkin’
We won’t give ourselves away

Our love leads to madness
Our love leads to madness
Our love leads to madness

Do you feel alright?
An’ can you see me when you’re lookin’ in your mirror
Crazy, try to find a way, so your heart don’t pay
Run away-ay-ay
Don’t you give yourself away

Our love leads to madness
Our love leads to madness
Our love leads to madness
Our lova leads to madness

The most pertinent line in that song for me is “An’ can you see me when your lookin’ in your mirror“.  I always felt that Frank and I were mirror images of each other, my left being his right, male vs. female, anima vs. animus, etc.

If you get a chance to listen to this song and it immediately brings to mind a specific relationship of yours, you may well have had the type of connection with that person that I have with my husband.

Just a little tidbit of information, hope you take the time to find a listen to this song.

 

 

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More On Soul Mates

Soul Mates

It’s not just about love and romance, soul mates are about a lot more than that. 

Soul Mate Love Relationships, as previously discussed in my other blogs about the subject, Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop  and Gone With The Wind, A Classic Soul Mate Story , for example, are never easy.

So, if you meet someone and fall in love and enter into a long-term relationship, perhaps even marry, without any major difficulties, does this mean that they are not your Soul Mate?  No.

If you meet someone, fall in love, and have MAJOR difficulties, does this mean that they are your Soul Mate?  No.

It’s a case by case basis.

We do NOT have only ONE Soul Mate.  Different Soul Mates teach us (and we teach them) different lessons.  Our parents and children or perhaps grandparents usually are Soul Mate relationships. 

Maybe our relationship with our significant other is smooth as molasses, that does not mean that they are not our Soul Mate, it means that we have learned the lessons we were to teach each other and are rewarded (Nirvana) by being allowed to be together in happiness.

Maybe our lesson is not the lesson of romantic love, maybe it is how to parent together, or perhaps we produce a terminally ill child together, and although our relationship is solid, we must learn together how to deal with this type of grief.

Frequently, when we have children, they are a Soul Mate from a past life and there is a significant lesson to learn from each other.  I know that both of my sons are Soul Mates from past existences, but I also know that their father was not a Soul Mate of mine, it just worked out karmically that we had to cross paths to bring these two particular souls (my sons) to this earth.

When I compared the astrology charts of my children to mine and to my ex-husbands I found a very significant number of Soul Mate aspects between their charts and mine, but not between my chart and my ex-husbands, nor between the boys and their father.  I couldn’t understand it at first.  I compared the two boys, and again, major Soul Mate aspects between the brothers, so the lessons to be learned in our little family were between the three souls connected astrologically and oddly did not include their father.

Evidently, whatever karma existed between the boys and their father had already been worked out, or he was a new “Soul Contact” (which I believe), to both of the boys and to myself.

Now, given the situation around our divorce I would have to say that there has been some pretty negative karma built up between my ex and me and between my ex and his two sons by me, but that will work out over time either later in this life or in the next.

Soul Mates are not just romantic partners.

Think about the relationships you had (or didn’t have) with your parents.  At least one of your birth parents has been connected to you in a previous life.  The more intense the relationship with either parent, the more likely it is that there was a Soul Mate connection that brought you to incarnate as their child.

Think of special mentors you met along the way during this life.  Again, there was probably some kind of past life connection.

Think of your worst enemies, hopefully you have few, again, a karmic connection most likely exists, and if it didn’t before, and you have some intense negative energy between you, you can be sure that you will be working it out at some future date.

Have you ever met someone and for absolutely no logical reason you instantly disliked them?

That is as much of a Soul Mate connection as the ones where we feel an instant rapport with someone.

As to my Soul Mate connections with my sons, they are strikingly different.  I am not sure as to how well I am doing with these particular lessons as single parenting them for the past fifteen years has not been easy.

As a single (divorced) mom, there were times when I must admit that I envied my ex-husband as he had the freedom (I had custody) to totally move on unfettered by the boys.  He didn’t have to worry about babysitters on a Saturday night or choosing between an interesting date and a little league game, he wasn’t around for any of it, he moved out of our state.  However, I had to wake up, parent, transport, go to work, come straight home, pick up, parent, feed, clothe, water and parent 24 hours a day seven days a week, alone, for fifteen years.

It put my life on hold in many ways.  I don’t regret it, but it was difficult to do.

I did my best to make the right choices along the way, but I know that I didn’t always choose correctly, and for those things I feel remorseful.

My sons are now 19 and 20, we all three still have our ups and downs, the journey is not over yet, they are still my responsibility, and still, my ex runs free, but perhaps his lack of responsibility toward these children has to do with a lack of a Soul Mate connection from the day they were born……

I don’t think I will ever feel that I am not responsible for these boys, (men), even when they are in their fifties and I am in my seventies or eighties.  Their pain is my pain, their joy is my joy, their challenges are my challenges, although I do not take control, I just offer what guidance and support that I can, ultimately they must face their challenges alone, I just hope that these little Soul Mates of mine have gleaned what they could from what I have strived to teach them so that they can go on to lead happy and productive lives.

Oh, how I ramble, but I hope that as you read this you broaden your own understanding of the Soul Mate connection.

Gone With the Wind, a Classic Soul Mate Story

Gone With the Wind, a Classic Soul Mate Story

“Oh Rhett, Rhett, where will I go?  What will I do?” Scarlett cries out to Rhett as he walks away from her into the fog.

Rhett turns, tips his hat and says “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” and disappears into the dark foggy night.

Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara, now THAT my dear, although fictional, is a classic soul mate story.

The book came out in 1936 and was written by Margaret Mitchell, I read it annually as I love the story so much.  In 1936 this book was way ahead of its’ time, very racy, and it was “cleaned up” quite a bit for the screenplay.

In the movie, Scarlett only produces a child with Rhett, but in the book, Scarlett has several children with several different men and is not what one would classify as a “good mother”, but Rhett loves her despite her callous ways.  Survival turns Scarlett into a greedy opportunist (among other things), but yet, Rhett loves her and wants to protect her and cherish her.  Scarlett will not accept his love.

The book goes on and tells of all the trials and tribulations and attempts Rhett makes to win Scarlett over, yet she remains untouched, until the very end, when she finally realizes that her “love” for Ashley Wilkes was nothing more than a childish obsession.

Unfortunately for Scarlett, Rhett has exhausted his emotions and the well of love has run dry.  Rhett picks up and leaves Scarlett for good (despite the follow up book written by Alexandra Ripley entitled Scarlett which tries to make it into a happy ending story and takes away from the dramatic ending of the original work).

That is how soul mate stories end if we do not learn the lesson karma has tried to provide us.

According to karmic laws, Rhett and Scarlett would not meet again in Ireland in the same lifetime as presented in the sequel, but would have to wait for a future incarnation and begin all over again amidst equally difficult circumstances as presented in the first novel.

Don’t just watch the movie, if you haven’t done so already, read this book, there is much more to the story than presented in the film.

Astrology 401, Calculating Soul Mate Connections with Astrology

Astrology 401

Calculating Soul Mate Connections with Astrology

 

As many who follow Eastern Philosophies know, you can actually calculate a Soul Mate (Soulmate) Connection with Astrology.

You need to have a Synastric  Astrology Chart done for you and the subject in question.  As discussed in my relationship blogs,  Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop and my Astrology Blogs Astrology 201 - Synastric Astrology by Brigid Bishop , you can gain a lot of insight into what we need to learn from each Soul Mate we encounter on our journey.

How To Spot a Soul Mate via Astrology

Look for significant aspects between the two charts, a Trine between the Ascendant and your Sun, a Conjunction between their Venus and your Descendant, your Venus in their Sun Sign, and so forth.  Each of these aspects will give you some indication of the type of Soul Mate Connection you are experiencing with any given individual.

What Are We Here To Teach Each Other?

This is a bit trickier and involves reviewing your Plutos and your Neptunes, their house positions within the individual charts, their positions in your Composite Chart and what house ruler you have in position on your Fourth Houses.  Once analyzed, you can gain a clearer understanding of what you need to learn from each other and teach each other.

In my case, for example, with my current Soul Mate, it turns out we got some pretty crazy answers!

It seems that I am here to teach HIM how to be part of a relationship, how to be interdependent, and that he is here to teach me how to be independent, and then interdependent.  This springs from issues he had of being overly independent and issues I had from being just a touch codependent in my earlier years, leading me to make poor choices.

It may not really make sense at first, but once you study up on it, or have it calculated and analyzed for you by an Astrologer, it actually will become crystal clear and in understanding your Soul Mate Connection you will begin to resolve your Karma and achieve just a little piece of Nirvana!

Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop

Soul Mates

by Brigid Bishop

Searching for your soul mate?  Have a romanticized vision in your head of what it will be like?  Living happily ever after and never having a harsh word pass between you?  Is this what you have come to believe your soul mate is all about?

WRONG!

Soul mate relationships, although the most SIGNIFICANT relationships in our lives, are also the most DIFFICULT, or CHALLENGING, or CONTAIN THE MOST OBSTACLES!

People look at me like I am nuts when I say this as they have been led to believe by modern marketing practices that soul mate relationships are an instant connection with the fairy tale ending guaranteed, oh lord, do we need to talk about this!

First of all, there is a common misconception that people have that each soul here on earth has but one soul mate.  That is not true.  We have multiple soul mates.  Each soul mate that we encounter is here with us because we have created a specific kind of karma with that soul.  Dependent upon the karma created……we teach each others lessons relevant to that karma.

There are also different types of soul mates.  Some soul mates are considered “twin flames”.  Twin flames are typically souls that are on a very similar karmic path and we encounter them during certain growth stages of our lives, we support them, they support us.  They are typically friends, family members, or sometimes even casual acquaintances that we feel that instant chemistry with.  They are not here so much to teach us a soul lesson as to support us while we learn it.  They can manifest as children and parents, etc. etc.

There are also “twin souls”.  Twin souls tend to have extremely similar life paths to ours and we tend to cultivate these relationships quite easily, the twin soul is probably the type of soul mate that the average person imagines when they reference the term.  The compatibility quotient is high, interests similar, experiences similar, etc., they typically are not the type of soul mate that passionate relationships arise out of.

Then we have the pure essence soul mates.  These are the soul mates that have been romanticized in literature etc., however, the relationships with these soul mates are NEVER easy, smooth or effortless, they can be quite painful in fact, but if we work out the lessons karmically imprinted on our souls together, we achieve the reward of being able to be happy together.

The best example of a soul mate relationship portrayed in modern media that I can think of right now is the movie “What Dreams May Come”.  If you have never seen it, please rent it and pay close attention.  Robin Williams plays the male lead and I can never remember the woman’s name, but this is a soul mate relationship.  In this story the man and woman meet and are very happy and productive, soul mates, but then, the soul lessons begin.

WARNING:  THIS IS A DESCRIPTION OF THE MOVIE, A “SPOILER” TO DEMONSTRATE A SOULMATE RELATIONSHIP, DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SPOIL THE MOVIE FOR YOURSELF!!

I warned you!  This is the spoiler.  Robin Williams and his wife are happily married with children and very successful and productive.  Everything you could imagine a soul mate relationship being based on popular belief (fairy tale life), and then……one day……their nanny takes the children in the car and there is a terrible accident.  Yes, the children die.  It’s horrid.

The wife falls apart and so does the husband, but the husband is capable of healing and begins to do so, the wife continues to fall apart as does the marriage, the wife even becomes suicidal, but their soul mate connection allows the husband to somehow pull her back into the living of life……just as they are about to celebrate reconciling their marriage and her recovery from attempted suicide, HE gets killed!!!!

It’s so sad!!!!  He dies and the story follows him to “heaven” where he encounters certain characters……….and he is allowed to see how his estranged wife is doing.  Needless to say, she becomes depressed and suicidal and to his dismay he cannot stop her this time and she kills herself.

Well, they are soul mates, the most difficult relationships to work on, but the most connective.  He finds that she goes to hell because of her suicide, and he is successful in rescuing her from the depths of hell………..it is an excellent movie about what it means to be a soul mate and what true love is.

The movie ends with a little boy and a little girl on a dock by a lake playing who meet for the first time, yes, it is Robin and his wife again, getting yet another chance to get things right, that is the nature of a soul mate relationship.  You go through hell together and you keep getting the chance to do it over and over and over and over until you get it right.

Soul mates……….ah, the irony.  I have mine and I must tell you I spent my time in hell and he did come and pull me back out.  We went through nine years of working out our karma until we were allowed to be happy (I hope it lasts).

So when someone asks me “Is he my soul mate?” in a reading, the first thing I tell them is “You realize we have more than one soul mate, right?”.

Careful what you ask for, you just might get it.